My week of singledom

So this past week, Cam has been out of town for work. It sucks. He actually came to NYC last Friday, spent the weekend there with Melissa and I, then when I flew home Sunday night, he went to his week-long training for work, and won’t be home until later tonight. I really don’t like when he’s gone. Like really don’t like it. Having him gone generally tends to create anxiety for me as I get nervous being home alone at night. I know this is completely irrational, as our apartment complex is extremely safe and the likelihood of something happening is really rare. However, no matter how many times I tell myself this, when he’s out of town, I feel like I’m always on edge and never get a good night’s sleep. Plus, I just get kind of lonely and really do miss having him here when he’s out of town. But I know that traveling for work is something he’s going to have to do from time to time, so I told myself that this week I was going to try to see his being gone as an opportunity to work on getting more comfortable with having to be home alone. I really wanted to use it as a chance to just trust in the Lord, and ask him to give me peace to overcome my irrational worries. Another thing I did to make being by myself for a whole week seem less terrible is to really try and focus on the good things about being alone. I actually made a list of all the fun things that I wanted to do this week, no matter how silly or insignificant. The key thing is it had to be something Cam doesn’t like or something I probably wouldn’t do when we’re both home. This list inculuded:

  • Make butterscotch cookies–Cam doesn’t like butterscotch, but I don’t know why because these cookies are delicious…I should know because I at about half the batch I made to bring in to work this week…whoops
  • Watch movies–I tried to pick things I know Cam would never want to watch but I’ve been wanting to see like “The Princess and the Frog,” which ended up being adorably fantastic
  • Paint my nails–I do this when Cam’s home, but now I just don’t have to listen to him complain about the smell!
  • Not clean–So great. Normally I like to keep the apartment neat and tidy, so Cam and I both try to pick up after ourselves, and I try to clean on a regular basis. Not this week. I basically didn’t pick up after myself at all, and while I finally had to break down and clean today because it was starting to drive me crazy, it was kind of fun to just let everything go for a week. 
  • Endless hours of my TV–3 straight hours of Bravo? Nanny reruns? Old episodes of Sex and the City I’ve seen literally 50 times? House Hunters International marathon all set in Italy? Bring it on! I love watching mindless shows, and these week I definitely indulged in not having to share the remote!
  • Not cook/eat junk food–As said as this sounds, I think this was probably the thing that I was most excited for this week. Normally Cam and I eat fairly nutritiously, but this week I opted to skip my usual Whole Foods trip, and just go to the normal grocery store instead. I stocked up on things like Lucky Charms, Stouffer’s French Bread Pizza, and Kraft Box Mac & Cheese, and of course Easter candy! (when I’m actually typing this out, it sounds a lot more disgusting haha) Basically, I ate like 7 year old child who has no parents to make them eat healthy food, and it was awesome. Although, I’m looking forward to doing somewhat of a detox this week when Cam gets home before I go into diabetic shock…

So the conclusion I’ve come to this week is that while it was nice to have some alone time this week to do basically be a bum, if I were single I’m pretty sure that my mind and teeth would be rotted from all the TV and candy! It’s also true that absence does make the heart grow fonder, and as much as I hate having Cam gone, I am looking forward to seeing him tonight finally! Now I just need to finish cleaning up the giant mess that I’ve made this week…woo!